"If you can't beat them, then eat them, and leave their bones for crow pickings."
Journal
For No Oneposted Feb 8th 2009, 3:57AM
Mood: Empty
Posted here because there's no one to see it.
Uff, strange how it feels kinda lonely everyday at school. No one will want to talk to me especially, only if I'm the only one to talk to.
And then I don't want to or try to talk sometimes. Friends will say hi to me and I respond with a blank, absent stare. Sometimes talking takes too much effort.
Truthfully, I don't really like having too many friends. It gets too complicated. I don't want to have to compete with other people talking to have a conversation.
It's not that I don't like you, it's just that group conversations don't really suit me.
I guess that's why I don't try to make new friends.
Don't take pity on me. Don't try to talk to me 'just because I look lonely'. There's nothing to talk about.
I'm sorry.
I guess I really am useless.
I'm sorry.
I shouldn't even try to initiate pointless conversations. I can't talk. I'm sorry.
I can't really see how there's anything to look forward to but work. More work for someone else. I try to take some breaks for myself. I shouldn't waste the time I barely have.
I'm sorry.
I just feel like staying in bed for days. Being tired and empty just makes me indifferent. I don't want to be. I want to talk to you, but I can't. I want to listen to you at the very least, but I can't even do that. I'm sorry, you have the worst problems ever and I'm useless. I'm sorry. I can't do anything but apologize.
This is pathetic, especially to me.
I still have work. Maybe this weekend shall give me time to recuperate. I'm sorry again.
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